Anxiety?!

Hey guys, so today I wanted to share something with you all that’s rather personal.

As you all know, socially I’m not the best. I find it really hard to talk to some people or just be social. Some of you may know this story already because I have said it before but this story is an example of my social problem.
Let’s say I had some kind of feelings for somebody for a damn log time, like almost 3 years, I would still not say a word to him or even think about starting a conversation. Why I can’t do this I don’t know, I don’t know what to say or I’m to scared because I don’t know what to do. I think you all get the story, I think it’s clear that I have a social problem.

In January we have some kind of a prom ( not as big as in America and only for the last years) but the boys have to ask a girl and I’m scared out of my mind that I won’t get asked. All my friends have a date, or kind of two of friends know that they will get asked but don’t know how and when. I always say that I don’t mind if I don’t get asked or that I’ll go alone, but I’m so scared that i won’t get a date and actually have to go alone.

Now something totally, not totally, but something different. Last week we had vacation and i went to a university to follow a lesson ( next year I will be going to a university or college and I went to a few lesson to see if they were interesting and if I wanted to do them next year) but that day I felt so sick. I had a lesson in the morning and one in the afternoon, in the morning I hadn’t eaten a thing because it was very early and I thought I will eat something there. So I had the first lesson ( I thought that the lesson was amazing) and than I went to search my mom and we went shopping. At first I felt a little bit sick and I thought it was because I was hungry so I ate something. We went into a few shops but I didn’t feel well at all, my mom thought it was because I was hungry so we went to eat something. In the little shop it only got worse. I was cold and got the chills, I had a headache and my tummy was very upset, I couldn’t eat a thing. Basically I felt miserable.
But I still went to my second lesson and I’m glad that I went because it was also interesting. After the lesson I felt very good, all the pain was gone, I was just very hungry.
It turned out that it was all because of the stress. I have never experienced something like that but that feeling was just horrible.

So now that I have shared this with you all, I think that I can say that i have some kind of anxiety. No doctor had officially said it but I’m so scared for everything that I don’t have the control of. In my head everything must be structured and I need to know what will happen next. I think that’s why I’m socially ( or basically at everything) a disaster.

I hope you liked it and if you want to say something about it, leave it in the comments!

xxx L.

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5 thoughts on “Anxiety?!”

  1. Hi! To me that sounds like it could be anxiety! I am the same! Although I now know I have anxiety, at first it was terrifying because everyone just kept saying stress even though I thought it had to be something else and the idea of not knowing and not completely being in control of it terrified me. What helped was I went to the councillor at school and just straight-up said “I think I have anxiety but I am not sure and I was wondering if you could help me find out”. She pushed me to go to the doctor about it so I could get an actual diagnosis, so maybe you would be ok to do something like that? I felt incredibly anxious all day because it definitely is not an easy thing to do, but once you do there is an incredible amount of weight lifted off your chest. If you want to talk more or ever again feel free to dm me on twitter (LoveSydneyBlog) or send me an email (lovesydneyblog@gmail.com). Hope this all gets sorted for you Xx

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    1. Thank you for this sweet message. My dad is a doctor and he said it one time that I could have it. At school we don’t have a councillor so I usually just look things up on the internet to see what I could do about it. I’m very scared to talk about it, my friends won’t get it because they don’t even know it exists. But thank you so much and I will sure talk to you in the future! X

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      1. That’s good that you have a doctor for a dad though because hopefully he can help you! I know exactly how you feel about your friends though, it can be so frustrating trying to explain it when they don’t have it because it is hard to understand. When you feel the time is right though, hopefully they understand! Of course, you can talk to me anytime Xx

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  2. Thank you for being brave and sharing your experience. I understand your anxiety but I just want you to know that it does not control your social life. Take it one step at a time because college will be challenging but also a great adventure. In the U.S., it’s okay to go stag to the prom; seriously, it’s nothing to be ashamed of and just focus on having a good time!

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