Hey guys, so today I wanted to share something with you all that’s rather personal.
As you all know, socially I’m not the best. I find it really hard to talk to some people or just be social. Some of you may know this story already because I have said it before but this story is an example of my social problem.
Let’s say I had some kind of feelings for somebody for a damn log time, like almost 3 years, I would still not say a word to him or even think about starting a conversation. Why I can’t do this I don’t know, I don’t know what to say or I’m to scared because I don’t know what to do. I think you all get the story, I think it’s clear that I have a social problem.
In January we have some kind of a prom ( not as big as in America and only for the last years) but the boys have to ask a girl and I’m scared out of my mind that I won’t get asked. All my friends have a date, or kind of two of friends know that they will get asked but don’t know how and when. I always say that I don’t mind if I don’t get asked or that I’ll go alone, but I’m so scared that i won’t get a date and actually have to go alone.
Now something totally, not totally, but something different. Last week we had vacation and i went to a university to follow a lesson ( next year I will be going to a university or college and I went to a few lesson to see if they were interesting and if I wanted to do them next year) but that day I felt so sick. I had a lesson in the morning and one in the afternoon, in the morning I hadn’t eaten a thing because it was very early and I thought I will eat something there. So I had the first lesson ( I thought that the lesson was amazing) and than I went to search my mom and we went shopping. At first I felt a little bit sick and I thought it was because I was hungry so I ate something. We went into a few shops but I didn’t feel well at all, my mom thought it was because I was hungry so we went to eat something. In the little shop it only got worse. I was cold and got the chills, I had a headache and my tummy was very upset, I couldn’t eat a thing. Basically I felt miserable.
But I still went to my second lesson and I’m glad that I went because it was also interesting. After the lesson I felt very good, all the pain was gone, I was just very hungry.
It turned out that it was all because of the stress. I have never experienced something like that but that feeling was just horrible.
So now that I have shared this with you all, I think that I can say that i have some kind of anxiety. No doctor had officially said it but I’m so scared for everything that I don’t have the control of. In my head everything must be structured and I need to know what will happen next. I think that’s why I’m socially ( or basically at everything) a disaster.
I hope you liked it and if you want to say something about it, leave it in the comments!